Sex for most people is fun, exciting and relaxing, but this isn't the case for everyone. For some, sex can bring about various anxieties and fears. While many people seem to be sexually confident and able to express their desire and fear, there are others who feel uncomfortable and terrifying. If you are one of the types that thinks “I'm scared to have sex”, know you're not alone and this article will help you overcome this fear and anxiety.
Scared to Have Sex? Get to Know Why and How to Overcome That
Fear of Being Naked
It's not uncommon to feel insecure about the way you look and these insecurities become magnified when you have no clothes on. All your flaws seem to amplify -- you notice every scar, extra weight and out of place hair. Most women feel uncomfortable with the thought of having to get naked in front of a total stranger and become so self-conscious that they focus all their attention on sucking in their stomach or trying to conceal their bodies.
The only way to really overcome this fear is to wait until you are ready. If you feel uncomfortable getting undressed in front of the person you are dating, wait until you get to know them better. Also remember, you probably are the only one concerned about how you look when it comes time to have sex, but relax and enjoy it.
Not Being Good
Inexperience can be a major fear many have. Whether you have had many sexual partners or just a few, it is common to feel like you don't know what you are doing when it comes to having sex. What can make this more complex is that not everyone likes the same things when it comes to the bedroom. What can really turn on one person can completely kill the mood for
When it comes to having sex, especially for the first few times, it will be a learning process for both of you. Skip any of the more adventure positions and keep it simple for the first few time. Also, communicate with your partner to figure out what they like and don't like. Chances are even if it is really bad the first time, it won't mean the end of things.
Getting an STD
I'm afraid to have sex because I'm afraid of catching something. Sound familiar? Contracting any type of sexually transmitted disease is a legitimate fear to have. There are some people who have an extreme fear of being contaminated, and for some, just the thought of swapping saliva and other bodily fluids can send them into an anxiety attack.
While germaphobia is an extreme condition that may need therapy to help cope with, if your fear is just around STDs, it can be better overcome. Practice safe sex and get tested with your partner before you do the deed. The only way you can be sure you won't catch anything is to be sure they don't have anything. Get tested regularly, use protection and you won't have much to worry about.
Fear of Being Alone
A lot of people feel pressured to have sex to keep the other person in a relationship, which is never a good idea. Many women often tend to have this kind of problem. In long way, this may make people feel scared and uncomfortable to have sex.
How to handle this fear? Remind yourself that if sex is the only thing that will keep your partner around, then they aren't the one. Just enjoy the sex and be yourself. If you have no mood for sex, just say it out.
Not Being Able to Perform
For men, this can be a huge fear but women can also feel they are not performing their best in the bedroom. Not being able to go at it for a long period of time, not pleasing their partner, or simply not being able to finish the deed are all legitimate fears that can keep anyone from wanting to have sex.
The best way to deal handle this "I'm afraid to have sex" scenario is to relax. The additional stress and anxiety from the fear of not being able to perform will only hinder your performance more. If you find yourself not being able to get it up or keep it up, then explain to your partner that you're just nervous about wanting to satisfy them. You can help each other and do it better.
Fear of Pain
There are some women who are terrified of the pain they would expect to feel when having sex. The condition known as Vaginismus paralyzes women severely with just the thought of vaginal penetration. While the first time sex can be mildly painful for some, the pain usually subsides after the first two or three times of having sex.
The only way to deal with Vaginismus is to seek out professional help. This can be the result of an underlying psychological or physical problem.
Fear of Heartache
While many people feel pressured to have sex, a number of other fear that once they do the deed, the relationship will end. The fear of being heartbroken is common among women because they hear so many stories about guys who used them just to have sex.
The way to deal with this fear is to simply know that sometimes you have to take the risk. Not every relationship is going to last whether you have sex or not and sometimes it is OK to let yourself be vulnerable and enjoy things.
What Others Will Say
Sex is still looked at as a taboo and the judgment from others is something that can keep many from wanting to do it. The degrading labels that get thrown on people who have an active sex life are something no one wants to feel the shame of.
The only people that need to know about what you do behind closed doors is you and your partner. People are going to make judgments about you no matter what, so you can't let what others will think or say keep you from having an intimate relationship.
Not Being Able to Control Bodily Functions
Sex can be messy and when you're
While it is hard to control what will happen when you start having sex, if you are afraid of accidentally release some gas while doing it, be mindful of what you eat. Don't eat items you know can cause your body to feel bloated and gassy. Also, remember they are all natural acts, most times they will just go unnoticed because neither of you will draw attention to the fact.
Fear of Getting Pregnant
This is one of the main fears most women have. Even if they know and use precaution, they still have a fear that they might end up pregnant. This fear can go deeper when they start thinking about being a single parent or having to take on the responsibility of raising a child.
While there is no way to completely eliminate this fear because all forms of birth control carry some risk that you can still get pregnant, most are incredibly effective. Using more than one birth control method can help you feel more at ease when having sex. Another thing that can help calm your fears is talking to your partner about what would possibly happen if you did become pregnant.
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